Thursday, March 14, 2013

Day 3: liquid fasting or not

When i dont eat I eat nothing.
When i eat I eat everything.

So not eating.
Untill I am  59.9kg.

Starting now
Untill-it takes

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Day 2

Good morning.

I weighed myself and i have last 0.5kg/1.1ibs. So that is great. Well at least it is a start and I have like 9.5kg to go.
It was hard not to binge yesterday. really hard.
 My mind was like: come on Sara one more day will not make a difference.
But it will, it will and i know it will.
Crap i hate my binge eating, like seriously it gives me nothing good.
It makes me fat and broke.

And i am also depressed. it is stil fucking winter outside. It is cold and sonwy and ice everywhere and slippery and I hate it. I want spring so I can start my running outside.
Running de-stresses me and that is what I need at the moment less stress.

well i did binge and purge today.
i guess this will be a lot harder than i tought.
Must keep going.
no giving up

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Day 1. 500 kcal

Today is a 500kcal day.
of course i would like to fast but i know that it will just lead into a binge. So i will ease myself into not eating and shrink my stomach a bit. it is probably huge from all the binge food.

So i weighed mysealf and 63kg on the dodt. It is not my highest weight ever but pretty close to it.
And yes i am extremly mad at myself for letting myselg get here again. No mu fucking binges and purges (the will make you fat, well they make me fat because i dont always purge and when i do i dont get everything up)

I also took a befor picture but i will post it at the end of 31 days with the after picture.

I need to pay my rent today but i dont want to see my balance on my banck account. i am so shamed and mad at myself and discusted that i have spent so much money on binge foods this month.

Monday, March 11, 2013

Bithday diet

In 31 days i will have my birthday.
I dont want to spend one more year being fat and hating my body and having an eating disorder that even doesn't make me slim.
I have now started purging after binging and i hate it.
I have been horrible with my eating for the past 2 months, i am also depressed and hate the cold weather. why cant it be warm spring allready?

I have 31 days to loos weight. my goal is 53kg and to achieve that i need to lose about 10kg.
I will weigh myself tomorrow so i will no the exact number.

I am not following any diet I am eating as little as I can get away with.
I will decide what I will eat the next day on the evening of the previous and i will then shop for only the thing i will eat next day.
If i have food in my fridge i will binge on it. So no food.

I hope to get support from here.

I do not wish an eating disorder on anyone. It is an horrible disease. Dont start because ending will  be so sos very hard.

Someday I will reach for help but today and the next 31 days is not that day.

What supplements you take to keep youself healty?